How To Be Heartless
by ShineYourOwnWay
Summary: Number XIV and Number XV; the two new members of Organisation XIII. Allyx and Xlina have no idea who they are, or where they came from. Who better to help them find out than a few choice members of the said Organisation? Demyx/OC Roxas/OC
1. Chapter 1: Number XIV and Number XV

**How To Be Heartless**

**Chapter 1: Number XIV and Number XV**

**~Allyx~ **

_I stood in the kitchen with my shocked best friend, the bread scattered on the ground after being dropped from my hands, a result of the big, black, swirling portal that had suddenly appeared in front of us._

_I was even more startled when a tall man with long, frayed, blue hair and piercing, orange eyes that held an 'X' shaped scar in between them, stepped out of the portal._

That's where everything goes black and I find myself standing where I am now, my last memory disappearing, before Xemnas – or Superior, as we must call him – a tall man with long silver hair and striking orange eyes.

I am standing beside a tall girl with brown hair that is tied back under her hood, her blue-green eyes standing out in the darkness that shrouds her face. She is garbed in a long black cloak, same as Xemnas and the other man before us, the one with blue hair, and I find myself wearing the same clothing, along with a pair of black boots that can just be seen poking out under my long cloak.

I feel nothing. I am empty of my emotions, and I am an empty shell. I don't understand anything that is going on, at all.

The girl is a ghost beside me, and I imagine I am very much the same, standing there with my brown eyes full of nothing and my matching hair sitting, unmoving, at my sides.

"Allyx," Xemnas looked at me, a blank expression on his face, yet an air of dominance surrounding him, "Xlina," He looked at the girl beside me, "You are Nobodies; all you retain from your previous life is a name. You seek answers. I can give you a purpose."

I walked forward into a white room, taller than the eye could see and with seats that sat on top of tall white pillars coming down in a spiral formation, Xemnas at the very top one.

"Welcome, Number XIV and Number XV, the new members of Organization XIII."

Everyone looked down at me and the other girl, curiosity in their eyes, as Xemnas's voice rang throughout the echoing room.

We didn't get an introduction, we didn't get told any names, and ours weren't told to the other members, and when we were dismissed the blue haired man led us to our rooms, all identical down a hallway, aside from things the other members had put in their rooms. My room had a nameplate on it, "Number XIV," And the other girl had the same in the room next to me.

I had a bed and bedside table, a window and a small cupboard, all with the same strange blue markings on them. I didn't mind it, but it was very plain.

I lay down on the bed, staring at the ceiling and tracing the patterns with my eyes.

I had so many questions, and so few answers. Where do I come from? Why am I here? How did I get here? Who am I? _What _am I?

I had this nagging sensation in the back of my mind that I was missing something, something important. But I didn't know what.

I drifted off to sleep slowly, enveloped in my dreamless sleep.

I awoke to the same ceiling I'd fallen asleep to, only this time I could hear raised voices from down the hall.

I opened my door and walked down, seeing a few people standing in what the blue haired man – Saïx, as he told us his name was – had told us was the Grey Room, where we would go to get missions.

Saïx was standing across the far end of the room, onlooking the situation as if it were a daily occurrence.

There was a tall man with really spiky red hair, looking a little like flames, and making his emerald eyes stand out, along with the reverse teardrop shaped markings under his eyes.

There was also a boy with spiky blonde hair and bright blue eyes. He was a lot smaller than the man.

There was another man in the corner, watching the scene ahead of him with cautious blue eyes, his brown hair slicked back in messy strange spikes, causing his angular and sharp features to stand out.

The main source of raised voices was, as I now saw, two members in the middle of the room.

The first was a girl with blond hair that sat straight at her shoulders, aside from the two spikes that went back over her head, giving me the impression that she looked a little like a bee with the antennae. She had piercing green eyes and little, green blades – eight of them – on her hands, sparks of electricity crackling across them as she stared at the man in front of her, who was sitting down, laid back with an aggravated expression on his face, a blue sitar sitting in his lap.

He had blond hair, only it was more dirty-blonde, and it was in a strange mullet style, with a few separate bangs spread across his forehead, sitting just across his cyan eyes.

"Get off your ass and pull your weight for a change!" The girl shouted, her voice high and a bit ear-wrenching, "Stop handing off your missions to other people, freeloader!" Her insult seemed a bit weak, but the boy replied, nonetheless.

"I refuse to hunt down a giant heartless, especially alone!" He argued, not putting much effort into it and rather just shoving her off.

The girl's knives lit up a little more as she insulted him again, "Coward."

"Witch," The boy looked away, seeming bored, until the girl gave him a small electric shock.

The boy jumped and turned back to her, letting out a strangled sort of yelp, and suddenly began forming some water sphere thing in his hand, "You-" He was cut off when suddenly a giant axe was placed between the two of them, and the brown haired guy who had previously been in the corner was standing there, looking pissed off.

"Stop," Was all he said before backing up and walking back down the hallway, disappearing out of sight.

The two who had been arguing stared at each other for a minute before the girl stalked back down the hallway as well.

The boy sat back down on the couch, sitar in his lap again and started strumming a little. I felt a slight jolt in the back of my mind but brushed it off, staring at him from under my hood.

"Number XIV, Number XV," I looked over at Saïx, who had spoken, and noticed that the girl from yesterday was also there – Xlina, I think – And she was looking at Saïx too, as he spoke, "The two of you will be going to Twilight Town with Axel," He gestured to the red haired man, who looked displeased immediately, "And training with him."

"I have to babysit _again?_" Axel groaned, scratching the back of his head, "Man, this is Roxas all over again," He mumbled.

The young boy standing beside him looked suddenly offended, "What do you mean 'me all over again'?" He stared at Axel, "I wasn't _that _terrible!" He reasoned, putting his hand out in front of he spoke.

"You were a zombie!" Axel shook his head at the boy, "Didn't talk at all!" The pair of them laughed, which was strange for people who weren't supposed to have emotions, before Axel turned to us.

"Ready to go?" He asked us, a blank expression on his face.

I just nodded, not taking off the hood that covered my face, or showing any of my features, and I saw Xlina do the same.

Axel opened a dark portal and we all stepped in, not knowing what would happen at all.

"Okay," Axel stood in front of us both, "I'm Axel," He said coolly, "Got it memorised?"

Xlina and I nodded, not saying anything and just staring forward.

"So?" He gave a questioning tone but neither of us responded, "What are your names?" He stood in wait for us to answer.

"Allyx," I replied blankly.

"Xlina," The girl said.

Axel nodded, scratching his head again, "Well, today we'll be learning about Heartless," He paused, "Can you both summon your weapons?"

I nodded and summoned my weapon, the Keyblade, surprising Axel.

"A Keyblade user?" His eyebrows were raised, as if to make him look surprised, regardless of whether he could truly feel it or not, "I thought Roxas and _him _were the only ones…"

The way he said "him" was strange, but I dismissed it and proceeded to nod, confirming the whole Keyblade reaction.

He looked expectantly at Xlina, and she summoned a gorgeous bow.

It was weaved with some different kinds of metals to form the shape, a graceful swirling look with a firm grip. It gave off a blue glow that slightly grew in intensity at the ends, where, just below arrow tipped points, sat small-ish crystals that gave the atmosphere a strange feel. I wasn't sure about anything else, and other than the beauty it held, it looked just like an ordinary bow.

Axel nodded in approval, inspecting the weapon just as I had, before summoning two Chakrams, each Chakram was circular and red, with eight silver spikes and circles around the edges, and two black handles shaped in a cross in the middle.

He gave us a smirk before taking a single step back, and almost immediately, five small, shadow-like creatures with beady yellow appeared in a burst of smoke, and they all stood in wait, watching the three of us.

"These are called Pureblood Heartless, specifically Shadows," Axel explained, "They are the weakest of all Heartless, bread purely from the darkness of one's soul. They do not drop hearts upon their death, and therefor are entirely useless," He turned to us, "Take them out."

I began to nod and raise my Keyblade, but before I could even jump forward to attack one of the Heartless, they all disappeared in a puff of smoke after having arrows stuck into their chests.

Axel and I both stared at Xlina, surprised. I hadn't even seen her move.

Axel smirked at her, "Nice speed."

Xlina just nodded, not forming a verbal response.

Axel took a sidestep, and suddenly two Heartless appeared, only this time, two strange floating Heartless appeared. They were yellow with a strange antenna sticking out of their heads, atop of which sat a ball, and they looked as though they wore some kind of dress.

"These are Yellow Opera," Axel began another explanation, "Emblem Heartless," He turned to me; "This is why we have you and Roxas," He told me, "To collect hearts for Kingdom Hearts."

I asked my first question, having to know the answer, "What's Kingdom Hearts?"

Axel sighed, "A project to make us whole. To give us Nobodies what we need to become whole."

I didn't reply as he paused, a blank expression on his face, "To give us hearts."

There was a short silence, "But only the Keyblade can collect these hearts, and only a certain few can wield the Keyblade. The Keyblade acts as a sort of beacon, attracting Heartless," He explained, smirking, "That's why you'll constantly be getting attacked."

I nodded to confirm that I understood, and he gestured towards the Yellow Operas, "Your turn."

I rushed forward, jumping into the air and slashing at one of the Yellow Operas, a few times and a backflip later it disappeared into thin air and a heart came out of it. I didn't take a second to think before I jumped at the other one, taking that one out too and also receiving another heart.

I stood back beside Axel and he nodded in approval, "Good."

He scratched the back of his head again, an odd habit, before opening a portal, "Guess that's all for today. Better RTC."

Return to the Castle, that meant. I think. I'd heard one of the other members say it.

We all stepped into the portal silently and I went straight back to my room, not loitering around to see was going on in the Grey Room.

I repeated the actions I'd done yesterday, lying in my bed and staring at the ceiling, still so many questions and so few answers.

When would I find out who I was?


	2. Chapter 2: Emotions

**How To Be Heartless**

**Chapter 2: Emotions**

**~Xlina~**

Allyx and I surfaced from our rooms at the same time, and we both nodded at each other before walking down the hall. We'd never even said a word to each other yet we were closer to each other – albeit the fact that we weren't actually close – than we were to anyone else in the organization.

It was our 2nd day, and it must have been because of the fact that we had joined together that we kind of went around together. We both still wore our hoods up, too.

"Today you will be going out hunting for Heartless with Axel and Roxas," Saix told us, "There will be two Keyblade wielders, so I expect twice as many hearts to be collected."

The four of us nodded in confirmation and we all left through a portal, coming back out at Twilight Town, the same place we were yesterday.

"So, who are you guys?" Roxas asked, looking at me and the much shorter girl beside me – Allyx.

"Xlina," I replied quietly.

"I'm Allyx," The girl beside me replied, no emotion in her voice. Guess there wouldn't have been any in mine either.

"Well," The boy nodded, "Nice to meet you, I'm Roxas." He showed emotion in his voice, which was strange considering us Nobodies weren't even supposed to _have _emotions in the first place, due to our lack of hearts.

Suddenly, some Heartless appeared a few feet away. Three Yellow Operas, and I summoned my bow, ready to take them out, until Axel raised his hand, signalling for me to stop.

"Xlina and I will hold back and take out all the Purebloods, while Allyx and Roxas collect hearts from the Emblem Heartless," It sound more like an order than anything, but I guess it was obvious enough that he was in charge.

We all nodded, Allyx and Roxas rushing forward to attack the Heartless.

There were noticeable differences between the two as they fought, like the fact that Roxas was faster than Allyx, but Allyx had better agility, and Roxas was also showing signs of much more experience, taking out two of the Heartless in the time it took Allyx to take out one.

They both came back to us, and Axel nodded, "Good job."

We roamed Twilight Town until we found a group of Shadow's and some Heartless that looked like floating clouds of black with purple specks and yellow eyes.

"These are Possessors," Axel said, turning to me as he summoned his Chakrams, "They are Pureblood, and therefor are our job."

I took out the three Shadows while Axel slashed at the two Possessors, and we finished them off quickly, continuing our roaming.

We come across some other Heartless too, many different kinds, and collected a fair few hearts, for 'Kingdom Hearts', whatever that was. It was a confusing concept, taking the hearts born from human emotions to create hearts for ourselves.

We roamed for a while until we had to duck behind a corner to avoid being seen by three kids, who were running around together.

There were two boys and a girl, the girl had green eyes and brown hair, one boy, a tall one, had blond hair and brown eyes, and a shorter, slightly chubby boy had brown hair and brown eyes.

They sat down in the middle of the road and started laughing… At nothing.

"Why are they laughing at nothing?" Allyx voiced my exact thoughts, and Axel scratched the back of his head.

"Roxas was just like this when he first joined, unsure about what emotions were and the like…" He told us, looking over at the boy he had mentioned, "But now look, he picked up on it and he shows emotions himself," Axel looked proud, and looked at Roxas in a brotherly sort of way.

"But… We don't have hearts…" Allyx replied slowly, "How can you both show emotion?..." She trailed off, not really understanding anything at all, and neither did I.

"Everyone in the organization has a different theory as to why we act with emotions…" Axel explained, "Some say we just put up a façade and really are emotionless, some say we truly do have hearts inside us, some say it's the memory of having a heart that gives us the impulse to show and do things we did in our previous life…" He pursed his lips and sighed, "But at the end of the day, every one of us has a different 'personality', whether they're faking it or simply feel what they feel. No one knows for sure."

I nodded, as did Allyx, but she still had another question. She was a girl of many questions and few answers, "But why were they laughing when nothing was even funny?"

"It's just what friends do," Roxas cut in this time, using his hands to talk again and using a somehow reasoning tone with Allyx.

"Friends?..." Allyx whispered blankly.

Axel sighed, scratching the back of his head yet again, "Come with us," He said, "This mission was a job well done for your first one," He started walking off, "So we should put some icing on the cake."

We followed him and ended up sitting at the top of Twilight Town's clock tower, each of us holding an ice cream in our hands, and Axel and Roxas already taking bites out of theirs.

Axel was sitting at one end, I was at the other, Allyx was next to me and Roxas was next to her.

Roxas looked across at us, "Try it," He urged, "It's sea-salt icecream."

Allyx licked hers quickly, and she took a bite out of it straight after, "It's… Sweet… But also salty…" She observed.

"That's what I said," Roxas grinned, laughing.

Axel was watching the three of us, and as I tasted the ice cream I realised that Allyx was right, it was sweet and salty at the same time… It was an interesting flavour, but I liked it.

"This is what friends do," Roxas explained, "Just… Being together and laughing at nothing, and being happy."

The back of my head ached a little, and I could feel a headache coming on, so I just nodded, not bothering with any verbal response.

Allyx finished her ice cream along with Roxas, and she rose to leave, "I'm going to go now," She said, walking away as Roxas called goodbye.

"Bye!" He shouted, waving.

She stopped for a moment, waving slightly before continuing to walk away.

Axel, Roxas and I sat in silence for a while, watching the sunset, until I followed Allyx, going straight back to my room when I RTCed.

I was lying there, staring at the ceiling for the third night in a row, when there was a light tap on my door.

"Come in," I said quietly, so as not to disturb the other sleeping members down the hall.

My door opened and I saw Allyx, no hood on – I didn't have mine on either, though, and she walked in and sat on the end of my bed, "I'm sorry for interrupting you… I just wanted to ask you some things…"

I sat up, "There was nothing you could have interrupted," I told her, "Nothing to do around here…"

She nodded, "I agree," There was silence between us for a moment before she spoke, "Do you remember anything from your previous life?" She asked.

I shook my head, "No," I answered, "But sometimes I feel like I should remember something or feel something from back then," I wasn't sure whether or not she'd write it off as crazy.

"Same as me," She replied, leaning back onto my bed, "It's weird. I feel as though I should do something right at that moment, but I don't know why or how."

I nodded, "Yeah, I know how you feel."

She looked at me, "But aren't we using emotions right now? And somehow I can't help but want to smile or laugh or frown… And I notice the same with the tone of your voice," I was surprised by her observations, "The emotions that the other members let off seem quite real. I mean, the fight we saw one our first day shouldn't have technically happened, because for a fight to happen something has to clash, but if something clashed usually it's your personalities… But we aren't supposed to have personalities…"

She was right. All the members seemed to have friends and enemies, and personalities of their own, and they all seemed to find it natural.

"I guess it would be okay for us to have personalities too, then," I leaned back onto my bed with Allyx, staring at the ceiling.

"Yeah," She replied, "I've been thinking about that the entire time…"

There was silence for a few minutes before she got up, walking to the door, "Maybe tomorrow I'll have a personality…" She waved to me and walked out the door, closing it gently behind her.

I shifted my position so that my head was on the pillow, staring at the ceiling again, thinking about her words.

_'Maybe tomorrow I'll have a personality.'_

I let out a small laugh, but it didn't feel right. In my previous life, did I not laugh much? I shook my head, rolling onto my side and closing my eyes. That couldn't be right.

I drifted off to sleep while I thought, and I didn't dream for the third night in a row.

I exited my room, shutting the door behind me and walking down the hall, into the Grey Room, where there were a few other members.

There was Allyx, who, surprisingly, wasn't wearing her hood. Her brown hair flowed down her shoulders and her brown eyes matched her hair perfectly. She had sweet pink lips I noticed that they were turned up, only the tiniest bit, but they were still turned up into a tiny smile.

There was also Saïx and Axel, but the three of them were the only members I knew.

There was a tall man with pink hair that was ruffled messily, and he had bright blue eyes, who was standing by the window and looking out it with a smirk.

There was another man, sitting on the couches with a book in his hand. He had steel-blue hair with big long bangs over his eyes, which I could just see were bright aqua.

I walked up to Allyx and Saïx, who had been conversing prior to my entrance.

"Xlina," Saïx addressed me straight away, "You will be going to Twilight Town with Zexion," I saw the man with blue hair rise from his seat out of the corner of my eye, "Allyx," Saïx turned to the small girl, "You will be staying here and training with Axel in the Training Room."

Allyx nodded, and she and Axel walked down the hallway, but not before she waved to me and smiled. She seemed to be getting the whole happiness thing easily…

I looked at Zexion, who just summoned a portal and looked at me, "Ready to go?" He asked me, but something told me he wouldn't take no for an answer, so I just nodded.

"Today I'll be teaching you about magic," Zexion was all work, "Do you have a magical attribute?"

I nodded, "I can control time, to an extent."

He nodded, slightly surprised, "Different from any of the other members… Well, can you give me a demonstration?"

I nodded again, proceeding to do the easiest, and just stop time for 3 seconds. The trees did not move, the cloud sat still in the sky, and the sounds of laughter from playing children ceased. Nothing was moving, aside Zexion, as I could control who and what stopped with my ability.

He smirked, "Impressive, how long can you stop time for?"

I shook my head, "I don't know. I have no memories of it; I just knew what I could do."

Zexion nodded, "I see..."

There was a short silence before he spoke again, "Please summon your weapon."

I did so, and he looked my bow over, "Can you enchant the arrows with elements?"

I was surprised that he could have guessed something like that so easily, but having an obvious fondness for literature and the arts, it was only natural.

"Yes," I nodded, "But I haven't figured out how…"

"Well then," He smirked again, "Let's get to it."


	3. Chapter 3: Learning

**How To Be Heartless**

**Chapter 3: Learning**

**~Allyx~**

"So," Axel looked me over, "What attribute do you use?" He asked curiously.

"Fire," I told him, "Cool blue flames."

He smirked, "Fire is supposed to be hot, not cold."

I shook my head, "Cold flames are more graceful," I disagreed, "And they hold much more beauty."

"Well," Axel smirked again, "Red flames are a lot stronger… But why don't we test it?" He summoned ten Shadows, "Whoever destroys the most Shadows using only their fire, wins."

I felt the smirk work its way on to my face but I didn't bother stopping it, even though I knew I wasn't supposed to feel, "Let's do it."

"3," Axel said, getting into a ready position.

"2," I did the same, locking eyes with him.

"1!" We both ran forward, conjuring flames in our hands, and I took my eyes off him to focus on destroying these things.

I threw some flames at one, taking it out after a few shots, and I went straight onto the next one, forming a sword with my flames and slashing at it, watching it disappear into smoke. I did the same with another two, then I took the last one out with balls of fire again. I turned to see that Axel had destroyed five, the same as me.

"Equal," He laughed, scratching the back of his head, "Of course we came equal."

I smiled slightly, and he continued speaking, "Well, how about I teach you a trick or two I know about fire?"

I nodded, smiling, "I'd love to learn."

"So, I just attach emotions to the fire and fuel it in whatever ways I want to?" I questioned, confirming what Axel had showed me.

"Yep," He nodded, "And depending on the emotions you use, the form of the flames will change. Say, for different fire-users the forms will be different, but if I have courage, it forms into a mare, whereas if I'm angry it forms a lion."

I nodded, thinking it over, "So, basically, I'm going to have to use emotions even though it makes no sense because we have no hearts?..."

Axel nodded, "Yeah, basically, so try it now." He told me.

I nodded, taking a deep breath and trying to empty my mind of all but one emotion: courage.

I focused as much as I could, conjuring some flames in my hand and willing them to take on the form of my courage.

But it didn't work.

I sighed, "Useless," I shook my head.

"It was a good effort," Axel shook his head, "I mean, c'mon! How many people could get it on the first try?!"

"People who have hearts," I replied, "Because they can feel any emotion, whereas we don't even have the knowledge to feel."

Axel scratched the back of his head, "Yeah, which makes it even more of a challenge, and you'll be even more accomplished when you do get it."

I just sighed again, walking down the corridor and back to my room, not even bothering to go to the Grey Room or see Xlina and ask her how her training went. I just threw myself onto the bed, staring at the ceiling again.

I glanced over at the bedside table hesitantly, seeing the small book and pen that sat there. Saïx had told us to keep a diary… Because apparently it helped.

I had ignored it up until now, and before long I found myself reaching out for it and turning open the plain black cover to see the first blank page.

I picked up the pen and I felt myself writing, that same itching in the back of my mind surfacing once again.

_I'm Allyx, but that's all I know about myself. _

_I'm Number XIV in Organization XIII, and we work towards a goal: Completing Kingdom Hearts in order to give ourselves the hearts we do not have…_

_I don't understand the goal though, because… Well, what is it worth, having a heart? If I can't remember who I am anyway, how will having a useless heart help? Hearts make people weak. They make people endure things like sadness, anger, hopelessness, fear, heartbreak and so many terrible things…_

_But they also make us feel happy and courageous, strong and hopeful, bright and cheery… They have good and bad sides, I just don't know what side it is that I'm on._

I stopped it there, sighing and placing the book and pen back on the desk. I didn't understand so many things right now, but wasn't that an emotion in itself? Confusion?

I stared up at the ceiling and once again felt myself falling asleep as I traced the patterns with my eyes.

_Who the hell am I?_

It was my 4th day in the Organization, and I woke staring at the ceiling for the hundredth time since I'd been here. There wasn't much else to do when you weren't on missions.

I walked out of the room, closing the door and walking out into the Grey Room, seeing that Saïx, Axel, the blonde sitar-player, Xlina and the man she had been with yesterday – Zexion, I think – were all standing around.

I walked up to Saïx and he began speaking, "Allyx, you and Demyx will be preforming recon at Agrabah," He ordered.

I saw the sitar-player rise out of his seat and walk over, a bored expression on his face, "Really?" He faced Saïx blankly, and I was kind of surprised.

"Yes, really," Saïx snapped, obviously he'd woken up on the wrong side of the bed…

Demyx just sighed and summoned a portal, stepping through, and I followed.

"So," Demyx started speaking as we looked around at the sandy place, obviously built in the middle of the desert, "Play any instruments?"

I nodded on impulse then quickly shook my head, "No…" I muttered, not sure of why I nodded.

Demyx looked at me strangely, "So, your name is Allyx, right?" He asked, changing the subject.

"Yeah," I nodded for sure this time, "And you're Demyx…"

He just nodded and there was silence between us until we heard voices.

I turned to Demyx and he pointed up to the rooftops, signalling to jump up there. Luckily they weren't high, and I was easily able to jump onto a wall and push myself off that to land on the rooftops.

Demyx did the same, only with more ease. He was pretty agile.

We sat, watching as two people came into view, a man and a woman.

The man was wearing a small purple vest with nothing under it and baggy white paints that had a stich over one knee and a brown waist band, and he had a red hat on with black hair and dark eyes.

The girl had the same hair and eyes, only she was wearing much more expensive-looking clothing. She wore turquoise harem pants with a matching belly-top and slippers, gold earrings and a gold necklace, along with a turquoise headband encrusted with a beryl stone. She could have been a princess!

I strained my ear to hear their conversation, but they were talking quite loudly anyway, so it wasn't hard to hear them.

"Jasmine, we need to start re-building things or else the city will fall completely!" The man spoke, determination and slight hopelessness in his voice.

The woman – Jasmine – shook her head, "It's too dangerous to go outside and even gather the materials! And there isn't any way into the city unless you go through the sandstorm, so no one can bring us what we need!"

The man sighed in exhaustion, "But soon enough the city will be destroyed. It's already on the way to ruin."

Jasmine nodded, "We need to keep the people safe…" She sighed, "Oh, Aladdin, if only Genie were here…"

The man – Aladdin – shook his head, "No," He disagreed, "The people – we – need to rebuild our city. Not Genie."

Jasmine sighed in defeat, "I know…"

They turned out walked away again, and I let out a breath I had been holding without realising it.

"So, the city was hit by a sandstorm and they're having trouble rebuilding…" Demyx spoke, and unlike me he seemed to have actually thought about the conversation, rather than just listened.

I nodded, "And they don't have the materials they need because it's too dangerous to get them…"

Demyx nodded in agreement, "Well, I guess that's enough for now, "We can RTC."

He conjured a portal and stepped through, and I did the same, ending up in the Grey Room and seeing Xlina just come through a portal with Roxas.

I ignored everyone else around and went straight to my room, sighing once again as stared at the ceiling. I was sick of staring at a ceiling. So sick of the same thing, day in, day out, regardless of the fact that it had only been 4 days of it.

I sighed, rising and walking out of my room. I had money with me so I figured I may as well use it; I worked hard on the missions I undertook… Even if it was just a few.

I summoned a portal in the Grey Room after telling Saïx where I was going, and I found myself in the street in Twilight Town.

I looked around noticing that it was pretty busy, and I walked into the first shop I saw just to get away from the crowd.

It was a book shop, as luck would have it, and I immediately felt a sense of calm take over.

I walked around, seeing some random titles of books until I found one that interested me; In the Arms of Stone Angels by Jordan Dane. I picked it up and the cover had me at once, a gorgeous book by the looks of it. I read the back and smiled. I was definitely getting this.

I walked up to the counter and paid for it, but as I was leaving I heard the owner mutter, "Cosplayers these days," And I realised I was still in my cloak. Oops.

I didn't really care much, but Saix would if he found out, so I found the closest clothing shop and walked inside.

I settled on a plain royal blue shirt and jeans, along with a pair of blue slip-ons to match.

I paid for them, getting odd looks from everyone in the shop and just being grateful that they had other things to immerse themselves in and I knew they would soon forget all about the mysterious stranger in the black cloak.

I found some public toilets and I changed into the clothes there, stuffing my cloak in the bag that the clothes had previously been in.

I then walked into another random shop and it turned out to be a candy store. I didn't have any memory of sweets, but I figured I probably liked them, and that it wouldn't hurt to try them. I bought a big jar of these small square lollies, not being able to help myself and immediately going for the biggest jar. They could last me a while.

I smiled as I bought them and wandered around the streets for a while, happy. I wasn't supposed to have emotions but in an atmosphere like this I guess I just wore the smiles that I saw the people around me wearing.

The last shop I walked into was a music shop; it had keyboard, triangles, flutes, and every other instrument you could imagine, but there was one in particular I was looking for. A guitar.

I saw the first one in a long line of them. It was three quarters in length and was a gorgeous blue. I walked over to the counter, earning the attention of the man behind it.

"Excuse me," I said, "I'd like to buy this," I gestured to the blue guitar, and he smiled kindly.

"Of course," He nodded, taking it off its stand and putting it in a guitar bag.

I walked out of the store with my new clothes, book and guitar, and I went into an alleyway, conjuring a portal and stepping through, praying to God that it would lead me straight to my room and not into the Grey Room. I would be kind of embarrassed if they knew…

Thankfully, it did, and when I stepped into my room, I immediately hid my guitar under the bed, out of sight. I don't really know why exactly I bought it… But I did and that's all that matters.

I put the jar of lollies in the bedside table draw, along with the book, and since it was getting late I decided to start reading it tomorrow, and I drifted off to sleep with a smile on my face.


	4. Chapter 4: Friends

**How To Be Heartless**

**Chapter 4: Friends**

**~Xlina~**

I rose, again to the same ceiling as I did every day. I wanted change. I didn't know how I could actually want something, but I guess everybody wants something, and maybe before I lost my memories, maybe it was change that I wanted. Or maybe I was just being silly.

I got out of the small bed, hearing another fight going on, most likely in the Grey Room, even though it would have had to be very loud for me to hear it.

Talking to Allyx last night had given me some will to show emotion, but it was strange, because it didn't come naturally. I guess after a while it would, but it was hard at first.

The fact that everyone in the Organization apparently had some kind of different personality, according to Axel, confused me even more. Either he was right when he said that it was all an act, or they really did retain memories from their past lives, and, with that, the memory of emotions.

It was all very strange, really, and I didn't even know why I was here in the first place, but I guess that I would have to do my job.

And so, I walked out to the Grey Room and found just a sheet of paper hanging on the wall, along with Roxas and Allyx standing before it.

"What do you even do on a vacation?" Allyx turned to Roxas, and then saw me walking up to them, turning to me, "Hello, Xlina." She smiled, and it almost looked genuine.

"Hello." I replied, glancing at the sheet and seeing what was on it:

_'Vacation'_

What do we do for a vacation? What _is _a vacation?

"Hi." Roxas spoke, and he smiled at me, then turning back to the paper, "Been a while since we've had a vacation." He mused.

"What's a vacation?" It was Allyx who voiced my question. She seemed to do that often, but maybe it was just because we thought similarly.

"It's like a break from work; a day off." Roxas explained, "A day where we're free to do whatever we want to do."

A day to do whatever we wanted… I wonder if they have a library.

Allyx cocked her head, "What are you going to do Roxas?" She asked.

"Well, I dunno…" He thought for a moment, "Axel sleeps…" He told us.

"What does he do after he sleeps?" Allyx was pretty talkative today. Or maybe it was just the fact that she wasn't around everyone else. Some of the members _were _pretty intimidating.

"Sleeps some more." Roxas smirked, "All he does is sleep."

Allyx smiled, "I don't think I could stand sleeping all day." She said, turning to me, "What are you going to do, Xlina?" She asked me, cocking her head to the side. She seemed to do that a lot, too.

I have her a blank stare. "I don't know." I turned to Roxas. "Does the Organisation have a library?"

He nodded and pointed down the hallway. "If you go down the hallway for about 30 paces then turn left and enter the first door on your left, you should be in the library." He gave me directions and I nodded.

"Thanks." I said, turning away and walking down the hallways, following where he'd said to go, counting my steps.

_21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28…_

I reached a turn in the hall here, on my left where he'd said it would be, and I turned down it and cautiously opened the door on my left, pleased when the first thing I saw were a few rows of books, new and old, resting on shelves.

It wasn't big, but it wasn't small either, and there were a few windows around – regardless of the fact that the only view we had was of the bleak darkness of the outside of the Castle. There were a few armchairs and tables, too.

I walked through the twisting shelves and looked for any books that interested me; which was hard considering most of them didn't show much on the spine, and they were all non-fiction based books about fighting and magical techniques. Note to self: Buy some good books.

I eventually picked up one on weaving magic into weapons – just what I needed, I guess – and I found myself a comfortable spot sitting cross-legged leaning against one of the windows in an isolated corner of the library.

I opened the book and started reading from the first part.

_The Beginning: Magical Cores_

_Magic has a core. The source of magic comes from the energy of oneself, and when that energy is used up, the magical spells become weaker and less consistent, and they will cease when the flow of magic ceases._

I quickly scanned through the rest before skipping through it and stopping at a new part.

_Magical Projection: Magical Core Origins_

_All kinds of magic have a core origin. One must access this core origin in order to use the magic. All different kinds of core origins have different access points of the body. For instance, fire magic requires focus on the chest and arm areas in order to use the core fire origins. _

_The core origin for projection requires focus on the fingers and toes at the same time as focus on the set core origins. Magical projection requires more energy than just using the magic, and, in turn, magical weaving requires twice as much energy again._

I snapped the book shut – making sure to keep my thumbs inside so that I didn't lose my page – and looked around the library when I heard footsteps and the door close.

It turned out to be Zexion. It was the first time I'd seen him since he'd taught me a little about magic a couple of days ago.

He nodded in greeting and went to browse through the books before sitting in an armchair not too far away.

I averted my gaze and went back to the book.

_Energy will deteriorate at the same rate as the amount and time used to perform a spell, and the deterioration rate will quicken as the spell becomes stronger and more projectile._

_This said, you can gain energy as you get used to using the spells, and if you _store energy.

_Storing Energy: Jewels and Magical Vessels_

_As you improve on your on your projectile magical abilities, and gain better control of your core origins and using them, you will be able to project and store your extra energy in jewels and magical vessels._

_Your magical energy will slowly build as you rest, quickest while you sleep, but even quicker if you have another magical user transferring their energy to you._

_By storing your magical energy in jewels or magical vessels, you can call upon it whenever you need the energy, as long as it is on your person at the time._

_A magical vessel can be –_

I stopped reading and looked up when I felt a pair of eyes on me, and I saw Zexion starring at my face, as though he was analysing me.

"H-Hi." I stumbled across my words in surprise – but wait, why would I feel surprise. This emotions thing is really confusing. But wait, isn't confusion an emotion too?

Zexion just nodded.

"What were you doing?" I asked, turning my head slightly in question.

Zexion looked at me blankly. "Analysing."

"Why?" I asked. I sounded like Allyx. So many questions.

"I can 'smell' people after I analyse them."

I said nothing and he obviously picked up on my confusion and slight weirdness.

"It's not really 'smelling' someone. The other members call it that, but it's just that I can sense the darkness or feelings that comes from a person's heart after I've felt it long enough. I can sense someone from a mile away if I know who I'm looking for – or feeling for." He explained, a slightly embarrassed look on his face.

I nodded. "That's a good skill to have." I told him, giving him an unnatural feeling smile.

He cocked his head to the side. "Why do you try to feel the emotions?"

I gave him a blank stare. "Everyone else around me – even Allyx – are seeming to have emotions, and it makes me feel like I have to try too. It seems to come naturally to everyone else, but I can't make it happen."

Zexion shook his head. "Of course you can't make it happen. You have to wait for it to come as naturally as it will."

I shrugged. "Can the emotions even come naturally?" I asked. "What about you? What do you feel?"

He pursed his lips for a moment. "I don't really mind what others see that I am, and therefore I'm mostly just blank… But I have appreciation for things that I like."

I nodded and pondered what he had said. Axel had said that many of the members had their own theories of how our emotive systems worked, and Zexion didn't really seem to mind either way, but that wouldn't explain why he was even in the Organisation to begin with.

"But if you don't care about your emotions, then why are you in the Organisation at all? Isn't the point of the goal, of Kingdom Hearts, to gain hearts and emotions?" I asked him, voicing my earlier thoughts.

He thought about it for a moment before giving me an answer. "I don't know."

After saying that, he rose from his chair, leaving the book on the table and walked out of the library, leaving a cold air in his wake.

I rose and walked over to the table, running my hands over the soft leather of the book that he'd left, glancing inside at the title.

_A Guide to Immortality_

I frowned and pursed my lips before closing the book and walking out of the library, my magical book under my arm as I walked back to my room, where Allyx was just standing outside her door.

She lifted out of the lean she had previously been in and flashed me a smile. "Hi."

I stopped in front of her and attempted a slightly unnatural smile back. "Hey." I paused before continuing speaking. "How did you manage to get a personality overnight?" I asked her.

She paused for a moment then shrugged and cocked her head. "I dunno. I had a dream last night about this boy. I don't know who he was, and I can only remember a slight haze of what happened, but there was something about him that made me stop thinking that we don't have hearts." She hesitated again before continuing. "I mean, you never know…" She trailed off. "Axel said some of the members think we may actually have hearts."

I looked at her face and found no trace of her to be faking the slight thoughtfulness that I could hear in her voice. "But even though Axel said it… Does that mean you actually believe it too, or not? What do you think?"

She smiled and looked down for a moment before she looked up. "What do you think?"

I frowned and was about to comment on how I'd asked her first before she continued.

"Because I honestly don't think that either of us had been here, and, well, been in this situation for long enough to actually have a solid opinion. I, personally, want to hear the opinions of others first before I decide solidly." She explained, a blank expression settling on her face.

I nodded and breathed out, going to turn away. "Well, goodnight."

She smiled. "Goodnight…"

We both went to enter our rooms before she turned back.

"Xlina." I stopped and turned to her, giving her an incline of my head to let her know to continue.

"At this point…" She nodded. "I do think we have some kind of heart."

**A/N: This chapter was a whole lot of improvised ramble.**

**Meh.**

**Enjoy?**

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**Keep on smiling x**


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